Iridescent Spirits

Shelter of a constantly changing Soul.

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Regrets – Writing 101 Day 3

Though I’m pretty young, I already have many regrets. For example the thing that I wasn’t confident enough when in my childhood I wanted to learn to play the violin and (only) one teacher said no. I regret not being able to stand up for myself despite the fact that I knew very well what I wanted and what my spirit needed. After all, almost twenty years later my love for the beautiful sound of the violin is still as strong as it used to be, if not stronger. I think, now I would be someone different, richer in spirit if that didn’t happen to me. Sometimes I even think I wouldn’t suffer from panic disorder either. I also regret abandoning playing the piano on a sudden whim that ‘it’s not violin’. There was a time when I felt I would start my life all over again just because of these.

Although, I firmly believe that everything has its own reason. 

I believe there is a point of all the struggles I had to went through and what I am going through even right now. There is a meaning behind my own inconfidence that made me losing my path. There is also a meaning behind the uncertainity and the constant urge to do something valuable that would not let me rest and sit patiently waiting for a miracle that would never happen on its own. For some reason, I had to switch my road to a rough one to finally find, by travelling longer, what I was created for. I believe I need(ed) all the pain to learn how to appreciate myself and more importantly, learn how to listen to the inner voice that is never wrong.

And last but not least it is important to learn to let go all of the fears and those exact inconfidences that were and still are present in my life. To let go all of the anxiety, the pressure I subconsciously put on myself and everything that binds me, prevents me from being myself hiding behind the well-made mask of panic disorder.

So, in the end do I regret all these things I listed above? Sometimes I still do, after all I’m just a human too.


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Going Back

The thing that shakes my whole existence, the one that makes me feel as my real home, wherever it is, is calling for me. You know what it is already, don’t you? I am talking about music 🙂

The story of the Tiny Monster is very close to me, I think from the stories I’ve posted here I am the most satisfied with that one. Also, that was the second story of mine that was read by other people instead of simply landing in the depths of my thoughts and my desk.

I do miss blogging, since I’ve started work I don’t have much time to come up with anything new, I don’t even have time to think about my stuff. I’ve felt a bit strange lately, and I realised that’s because the imaginary world of mine is left a bit abandoned, without any visitor. But it’s still there, and I don’t want to forget about it.

So, today I’d like to invite you to (re)read with me one of the stories that had the most powerful effect on me.
 Viridian (Part One) along with the song that inspired it.




A Little Bit of IridEssence

I’ve always had a pretty peculiar relationship with music. Ever since I was a child I liked classical music, especially the sound of violin, and it has never ceased to cause me goosebumps. I especially like instrumental music. That provides me with freedom and enlivens my whole existence. Whenever I listen to a song I love my brain becomes clear and the pain of the sometimes grievous real world disappears and only me and my imagination exist. My brain immediately starts creating colourful pictures irrispectively of where I heard that certain song or what music video it has. It urges, encourages and helps me tell my story.

All in all, music is what inspires me the most. Not only does it provide me with inspiration but also it is the biggest source of energy of mine. Whenever I feel sad, powerless or worn out, I hit the play button, the key to my imagination, and I disappear into my very own, safe and hidden world, which however dark can be never fails to fill me with light.

Now, let me present you with a little piece of my Imaginary World. 🙂

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My Inspiring Role-models

Yesterday, I posted four blogs, more correctly four posts from different blogs, that grabbed my attention so I commented on them. Today, I will choose one of them to talk about why and what I commented and share my further thoughts on the topic.

The post I chose today was on role models. The writer of the post mentioned their role models and what they taught them, and how these models helped them throughout hardships. Let them be parents, friends or even celebrities. You can read the post here:

I mentioned two celebrities, two musicians, namely Lindsey Stirling, also known as the “Dancing Violinist”, and the Belgian singer-songwriter Stromae. I said although I’m not a musician myself (but my childhood dream is to learn to play the violin) not only I like their music but also they and their uniqueness inspires me and knowing a bit of their backgrounds encourages me to have courage facing my own hardships and being unique and different is not bad at all.

Those who may know Miss Stirling, are probably aware of that she had eating disorder and she managed to overcome it. I am suffering from panic disorder which is quite similar to anorexia, and whatever she tells about her illness I always feel like she’s talking right to me. Moreover, although earlier she had been rejected for what she does, she became successful on her own. And this is very inspiring and encouraging. So here’s a song from her which is about her illness and is exactly what is happening to me right now.

My other role-model is Stromae. I’m sure lots of you know him and his music. The reason why he became my role-model is his honest and provocative lyrics, he always tells the truth about life and about this deceiving world. Also, he said something that immediately made him my role-model for life.

“I’m ridiculous, you are ridiculous, we are. Everybody is ridiculous in this place.”

Isn’t he right? So, here’s one of his songs about a childhood without a father (the same is true to me too). And though, the lyrics are quite sad the music is great and always cheers me up.

Thank you for reading and have fun listening to these awesome musicians. 🙂


Hey, Mysterious Stranger! I am right here, waiting for You!

If you read my previous assignment, then you know why I am (about to) posting fantasy stories. Besides those reasons I stated there, there are some more other, why I do this.

Maybe I’m not good at writing, maybe I am. I don’t really know. But I have to tell you, that I have a visual mind. All my characters and stories are sort of a live-action movie-like stuff and if I could draw, I would present my characters to you, so you could see them the way they really are. I’m sure that it would grab your attention more than this. 🙂 But relax, I’ve started sharpening the drawing skills of mine. 😉

I am also into the sound of the violin. It is my childhood dream learning to play it, and more importantly, that is what inspires me the most. Somehow, it affects my brain in a way that those stories just creep into my mind without noticing it. It’s like a background music. 🙂

I hope, when I’ll be able to attach everything that supports my stories like that, (pictures and music) you would appear at last.

Finally, I really hope that you would not only read all those stories and maybe even enjoy them but also understand them and learn the lessons they provide.

So, now let me show you the song that inspired my very first published story; Purple.

And also remember! Looks can be deceiving!

I hope you arrive soon, and until then, Hugs! 🙂