Iridescent Spirits

Shelter of a constantly changing Soul.

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The Key to the Door Behind

Today’s task at Blogging U. is to write about the three most important songs in my life. There have already been lots of songs shared on my blog, either as a supporting feature for a story of mine, or in the centre of a certain blog post. I can say they all are very important to me, so this task was pretty hard for me. After thinking it over I decided I would write about the one and most important song of my life from the time when I was about 4-5 years old.

By now, most of you, who reads my blog, know well that how much music can influence me and my imagination. I wrote about it several times before so as avoiding repetition, now I would talk about my a little bit extraordinary relationship with music from a slightly different angle.

First of all, I hardly write posts when I’m “speaking” just like now, instead I try my best to write gripping stories that tell you about me and my emotions more effectively than I ever could. Well, that’s the thing with music as well. It uplifts me, unlocks doors that had been closed for years and were hiding in the back of my mind without my realisation.

Finally, let me present you the most important song of my life, from Sleeping Beauty… This is the hardest one, because I don’t know wither the composer, or the name of the song. I’ve heard it around twenty years ago, in the Hungarian (originally Japanese) edition of Grimm’s Fairy Tale Classics and it has stayed with me for all this time. Connecting the dots in hindsight, probably that was the one that made me fall in love with the sound of the violin, the one that made the desire to learn to play it a life-long desire, and also the one, that opened my eyes to see the path that led me towards the world of both anime and fairy tales. 🙂 I already know if I ever learnt to play it, I would cry out of happiness the first time I’d play it. 🙂 Though unfortunately, it doesn’t matter how many times I looked for it and how long hours I spent searching it, it never had any result, as if the song would never have existed.

So, now, I would humbly ask all of you who reads this post, that if you know anything about this song, please contact me! You cannot imagine how happy I would be! 

This was my fifteen minutes of free writing. Thank you! ❤

(I managed to find a latino version of the tale, the song starts at 10:28)



A Little Bit of IridEssence

I’ve always had a pretty peculiar relationship with music. Ever since I was a child I liked classical music, especially the sound of violin, and it has never ceased to cause me goosebumps. I especially like instrumental music. That provides me with freedom and enlivens my whole existence. Whenever I listen to a song I love my brain becomes clear and the pain of the sometimes grievous real world disappears and only me and my imagination exist. My brain immediately starts creating colourful pictures irrispectively of where I heard that certain song or what music video it has. It urges, encourages and helps me tell my story.

All in all, music is what inspires me the most. Not only does it provide me with inspiration but also it is the biggest source of energy of mine. Whenever I feel sad, powerless or worn out, I hit the play button, the key to my imagination, and I disappear into my very own, safe and hidden world, which however dark can be never fails to fill me with light.

Now, let me present you with a little piece of my Imaginary World. 🙂

Continue reading


Dead End or Happy End

This post is dedicated to my newest friend Annie. Well, at least the first part of it. 😛

I’ve just finished watching Mirai Nikki (Future Diary) based on your advise and Oh…My…God!

For those who are not familiar with it, it is a survival game where twelve people have their diaries foretelling the future. They have to fight each other to death and the last one standing would inherit the throne of Deus Ex Machina, the god of time and place. And I am a huge anime fan. 😛

It is really amazing as you said so, I couldn’t guess what would happen in the next moment. The plot itself is awesome, complicated but not too much, exactly as it should be. I think, I could never come up with such a great story :/ but who knows, right? 😉

The character of Yuno was interesting to me till the very end (but my favourite was Minene) yet Yuno made me a bit scared sometimes. Not because of  the butchery she carried out but because of her her sole mental state. That unstable, sometimes extremely cute and sometimes completely mad teenager girl. Yet, it is understandable after all she went through. All in all, I loved the show, thank you for your advice. 🙂

Why I was scared sometimes is that I tend to be afraid of getting mad. Yet, this fear is one of the most frequent symptomps of panic disorder and my doctor said my desire for getting better is way stronger than the illness. Last time, she actually told me that basically I don’t have any problem on my own, but all those things I went through made me ill. True, I had a hard childhood, just like so many other people. I am pretty sensitive and empathetic, so that sometimes I feel sad instead of someone else. So basically, we could say that my doctor was right. True, if I spend most of my time with certain people I tend to take over some of their traits while preserving my own, just like so many other people. And it’s also true that my circumstances shaped me to be who I am today, again, just like so many other people. But saying that I am the victim of the circumstances would be harsh and not necessarily true. I would never say such a thing. Because there’s reason behind it. I can say lots of things that I’m thankful for, I gained while going through my hardships.

So, based on the start of this post, if you asked me if I’d like to know my future I’d say yes. But if you asked me if I REALLY wanna know my future I’d say no. Why? Because if I knew it will be something great and happy then there’s a chance that I get convenient and satisfied and this way not working hard to make my life better. While on the other hand, if it’s something desperate and hopeless, that would make me stressed and bind me to an extent that I would unintentionally drive myself to that wrong direction. So all in all, I can’t see a good thing in knowing my future.

Actually, this is why I don’t have a strict schedule about which day I am going to post and about what. I just don’t like it. There are my everyday duties I have to fulfill in time but this blog is about me and I would like it to be something that can set me free. I’d like to take my time to find out what I really want and also I’d like to enjoy myself. I look for happiness, without any concrete goal right now. Because life itself is a survival game, and I want a happy end. 🙂



It’s an Award!

Today I woke up really early I checked my phone for the time and realised I had an e-mail. I was about to sleep a bit more but when I read the message I got so excited that I wasn’t able to go back to bed. Because..
I was nominated for The Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award! I would like to thank Cheryle from Lightwalkers Blog for the nomination at first. I am very happy you found my work this valuable. 🙂 Guys, check out her blog, you can find amazing and enlightening stuff out there. This award goes to writers who write about the unique female experience.

The Rules for Accepting and Nominating are as follows:

  • Thank the blogger who nominated you and link back to their site.
  • Put the award logo on your blog.
  • Answer the ten questions sent to you.
  • Nominate seven blogs.
  • Make a list of ten questions for your nominees

My answers to the questions:

  1. What is your biggest fear and why?

Probably being all alone. I don’t mean it as dying unmarried but rather not having friends or people with similar interests so there would be no one who could understand me.

  1. What are you motivated by?

By encouragement and consideration for example this nomination. 🙂

  1. What was the last dream you remember?

Hm, this is hard. I dreamt about being in high school again and I had to study hard because the evilest teacher was about to test me. It was horrible.

  1. What is your favorite book and why?

Now, this is even harder. I’d say two. One is Howl’s Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones. This book always cheers me up and no matter how many times I’ve read I always enjoy it as if I was reading it for the first time.

The other one would be The Evil Spirits by Fuyumi Ono. (The anime series Ghost Hunt was based on it, if it means something.) It is a bit gory and scary but I enjoyed it very much. It is well written and extremely interesting. I can’t help it I love the supernatural. (No, not the series that creeps the heck out of me.)

  1. If you could sit down and have a conversation with anyone, dead or alive, who would it be?

Diana Wynne Jones and Fuyumi Ono. I would like to hear them talking about their work and have Miss Jones tell me one of her stories she comes up with right at the moment.

  1. When you were younger, what did you want to be when you grew up? Do you still have that childhood dream?

I wanted to be a lawyer and one time a pathologist (no kidding) and also there was a time when I wanted to be an actress.
Now I don’t have any of these dreams, yet my family still thinks that I’m going to have the title Dr. 😀

  1. Do you have a bucket list? If so what are the top three items?

I do have a bucket list but it is quite short yet.
The first thing on it is to learn to play the violin. The second one is to learn to play a song I heard in the Japanese Grimm’s Fairy Tale Classics. That song is with me ever since I was about five. (It’s not in the English version)

  1. If you could boost one of your five senses, which would it be and why?

To trust in my intuitions more. Or have a better eyesight. 😛

  1. Would you rather die young, or live forever?

None of them. I fear dying young and I think living forever would be boring and maybe saddening. I’d like to have a long and happy life and die at an old age peacefully.

  1. What is your favorite thing about yourself?

The thing that I view the world differently than most people.

I nominate these seven wonderful blogs:

Living the Dream
By Lauren Hayley
Art Catalysts by KathyClem
Emma’s Cup
Sarah’s Humble Blog
Musings From a Tangled Mind

Now, here are my ten questions:

  1. What is your aim with your blog?
  2. If you could choose, in which century would you live in and why?
  3. What is your favourite book or movie and why?
  4. Who and/or what inspires you the most?
  5. What are you the most proud of about your life and yourself?
  6. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
  7. Imagine your life as a book in which you are the main character, what genre would it be?
  8. If you had any kind of a (super)power what would it be and what would you use it for?
  9. If you have a bucket list, what is the first thing on it?
  10. Do you have an unusual habit? If yes, then what is it?

Thanks for the nomination again, I appreciate it very much. Happy Blogging! 🙂


Hey, Mysterious Stranger! I am right here, waiting for You!

If you read my previous assignment, then you know why I am (about to) posting fantasy stories. Besides those reasons I stated there, there are some more other, why I do this.

Maybe I’m not good at writing, maybe I am. I don’t really know. But I have to tell you, that I have a visual mind. All my characters and stories are sort of a live-action movie-like stuff and if I could draw, I would present my characters to you, so you could see them the way they really are. I’m sure that it would grab your attention more than this. 🙂 But relax, I’ve started sharpening the drawing skills of mine. 😉

I am also into the sound of the violin. It is my childhood dream learning to play it, and more importantly, that is what inspires me the most. Somehow, it affects my brain in a way that those stories just creep into my mind without noticing it. It’s like a background music. 🙂

I hope, when I’ll be able to attach everything that supports my stories like that, (pictures and music) you would appear at last.

Finally, I really hope that you would not only read all those stories and maybe even enjoy them but also understand them and learn the lessons they provide.

So, now let me show you the song that inspired my very first published story; Purple.

And also remember! Looks can be deceiving!

I hope you arrive soon, and until then, Hugs! 🙂